Submitted stories

This is the repository for the many, many story submissions I have received since opening this site. You can return to the master list with this link or the navbox, or just by taking the "?story=blah" out of the url.

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"James"
2003-Jul-05

I am 15 and living in the UK. About half a year ago I fell in unrequited love. You may think that its not possible for someone so young to fall truly in love... but I don't see how it can be anything else, except maybe an unhealthy obsession. Some of the advice gave little tips on how with work, you can maybe win your 'adored one' over, I however have absolutely no chance, as my love is that of a homosexual nature, yes indeed I am gay.

In a heavily drunken state on valentines day, whilst as usual feeling sorry for myself, I sent my love a valentine via email. It took him a few weeks to work it out that it was me, I expected fully for him to expose me, and that soon every1 would know... I was ready to end my life. but he did not tell everyone. he was so good to me and fully supported me, I couldnt believe it. Seeing this side to him, made him more than just a pretty face, and my love for him increased, and it does everyday. He did however tell me straight that he was not gay and so there could be no future for us. This is decent of him, so not to give me false hope. however as with everytime you are rejected... a part of me died.

Over the last few months, we have become friends, though now I have the horrible feeling that I am his burden. I seem to use him to unload all my lifes problems, and although he in turn sometimes shares his with me, I still feel unworthy to be his friend. I see myself as the most ugly and disgusting thing to ever walk this earth, and he, to me is a most divine angel. Both these points make me unable to really talk to him in person and want to hide away from him, and so this is limiting our friendship, I mostly only talk to him online via instant message. And this disability to talk to him, makes me hate myself even more.

I don't know why I am telling you all of this, but from reading your site I can see that u understand in some way what I am going through. Although the only difference between u and i is that u have a chance, even tiny, with your adored one, though I am not sure if u have moved on yet.

Anyway, thank you for reading, and thank you for making ur site once again. It made me smile :)

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Comments from Steve-o:

Being of the "wrong" sexual orientation for your Adored One has got to be rough. At the same time, this Adored One is unusually understanding, which is, well, really, really lucky for "James". The trick here is for "James" to reduce his self-loathing. Even an open minded and compassionate Adored One may eventually feel like they are being dragged down by an Adorer who seems unable to hold themself up. He is clearly not as ugly and disgusting as he feels, for if he was, his Adored One -- who is clearly something special -- wouldn't find it worth his trouble to build upon their friendship.

Make the best of the relationship that you have, "James", and if you feel like you are burdening your Adored One, it's possible that you are starting to try their patience, even if they tell you otherwise. A low self-esteem is quite visible to others, and can make you seem "needy". Even to people who care about you -- as your love obviously does -- this can eventually become too much for them to take. If you can find something about yourself that you think is worth feeling good about and boost your self-esteem, I think you'll be in a better position to have a constructive friendship with your Adored One, and probably in a better position to attract people with whom you can have a mutually romantic relationship as well.


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Last modified on 2008-March-02.